Ranking Every Season of American Horror Story

It's been over 14 years since the first American Horror Story season, and since then the world has been subjected to witches, freak shows, Trump's America, the literal Devil himself, and more black latex than H.R. Giger could dream of.

Personally I, like many others, took an initial interest in it because of the thirst-trap that is Evan Peters and all the psychotic or pseudo-psychotic characters he has played throughout the show's run. In fact, my first experience with Ryan Murphy's work (save for catching snippets of Glee in the past), was 2022's Dahmer (which is a whole other kettle of fish, but anyway...).

I think the sheer number of seasons was the first turn-off for me when it came to AHS. That and the fact that my only real exposure to it had been through that 'Tate/Violet screaming at each other' meme. However, I eventually caved.

Now, while awaiting the arrival of the 13th season, I thought it would be the perfect time to talk about the best and worst of this show, by ranking every season so far. The only season I'm excluding is of course the current one, because it's hard to judge when I've only seen half of it (so far though, I'm having a pretty good, if at times very uncomfortable, experience watching).

(And surprisingly, Kim Kardashian is not an outrageously terrible actress).

SPOILERS AHEAD.

12. Delicate

That being said, Delicate is the only season I took my sweet time completing because frankly, I didn't find it super engaging. At all. In fact, I was so disengaged that even after finally completing it, I have very little to say about it. Understandably due to the writer's strike, the pacing really hurt this one. A mid-season hiatus is damaging for any TV show, but particularly noticeable here.

Don't even get me started on the ending. So much set-up for so little explanation. Entirely unsatisfying (though I stay hopeful for S13 being a good one, more fool me perhaps).

11. Roanoke

So this is obviously going to be a 'these opinions are my own' kind of post, and I feel like this has to be stressed when I'm ranking Roanoke so lowly, because actually, this season seems to have as many fans as it does haters.

I went into it with apprehension, knowing it was so divisive, and I'm sorry to say that I came out on the negative side of things. I gave it a fair shot but after the first 4 episodes I was so tapped out, so uninvested in the characters and everything that was going on, that I started treating it less like a show I was leaning forward in my seat to watch, more like an audiobook to play in the background while I did something else.

I'm afraid I just wasn't engaged at all, even though I can respect that the concepts here were interesting. The idea of starting out with a mockumentary, then introducing the 'actors' to the real-life people they portrayed and throwing them all in a reality show haunted house, before switching to a total found footage style by the end, is genuinely good stuff! I just wish I had cared more about any of the characters, or found the plot engaging at all.

Some praise I've seen for this season is people saying that it's the scariest of the bunch, but again, I don't think there was anything here that outdid any of the creepiness in the previous seasons. Maybe a rewatch would change my feelings, but I'm not in a hurry.

Stan Lady Gaga as Scáthach though.

10. NYC

It kind of hurts to put NYC as the 2nd lowest here because it was the season which maybe hit me hardest emotionally by the end of it. I wasn't expecting the final two episodes to be as impactful as they were, quite literally opening my eyes to aspects of a tragedy I never knew enough about, and leaving me sobbing with that realization.

Unfortunately, a great conclusion doesn't make for a great season, and most of NYC had the same issue as Roanoke, where I just wasn't super on board with it. Having a horror story that's about the AIDS epidemic, and having the villain be an allegory for the disease spreading between so many victims, was something I thought was handled very well by Murphy and co., particularly in those parts where it focused on how the people in those communities weren't treated with the respect they deserved even as they were literally on their deathbeds.

But the season as a whole has too many plot holes, felt too repetitive at times, and was just generally not super interesting to watch, I felt. Also, having Zachary Quinto's character basically end up becoming Gay Scrooge was...definitely a choice.

I appreciate the message the season conveys, I just wish other aspects of it had been better.

9. Double Feature

Now this is an opinion I don't think anyone would disagree with. Most people consider Double Feature to be one of, if not the worst seasons of AHS.

Which is a shame because it could have had potential to be one of the best. Split into two halves, the first section of the season, Red Tide, was actually a very engaging, coolly gothic vampires-by-the-ocean story, which I was totally on board with, up until the last episode where it proceeded to pull some of the dumbest sh*t I've seen in this show, and wrapped up in a totally unsavory way where basically only the assholes were the winners.

Episodes like Gaslight were so genuinely well-directed, and Sarah Paulson's performance as 'Tuberculosis Karen' was one of her best, with a really beautifully heartbreaking conclusion for her. We got to see Finn Wittrock playing a daddy, I can't complain about that either. And Macaulay Culkin was fantastic, it was great seeing him have a role in this. There were so many good things going for Red Tide, that the way it concluded was just a massive bummer, and pretty much makes me wanna pretend that final episode is nonexistent.

However, any problems with Red Tide pale in comparison to the 2nd half, Death Valley, which is so genuinely awful at times I was bewildered. Though we can halve this one again, because Death Valley also has some good going for it, but only in part.

We jump between the past and present, but only the past has any merit. Filmed in black and white, it delves into the alien conspiracies of the 50s, and features a scene where Neal McDonough and Sarah Paulson (as Mamie and Dwight Eisenhower) fight over some fudge, and she calls Tin Man 'Mr. Man', and I thought that was cute. Well, until she gets possessed by extraterrestrials and turned into some Children of the Corn character.

But it's the present-day segments which shortened my lifespan, because goddamn, Kaia Gerber may be a gorgeous model, but she cannot act. I'm sorry. Or if she can act, I didn't see any proof of it here. What we end up with is a story that jumps between the monochrome old-school UFO stuff, and a group of obnoxious young adults in modern day, who end up pregnant with alien babies. All of them, even the dudes.

Which only reminded me that I would have probably been having more fun booting up The Sims 2 again than watching this.

8. 1984

I think 1984 is okay. However, for a season that could have done so much with an 80s concept, I feel like it sort of missed its own potential.

There were plenty of things I enjoyed. The fact that the whole season was a parody of old-school slashers was fun, and yes, Zach Villa and Cody Fern made for great eye candy (even though casting Zach as Richard Ramirez raises similar issues to casting someone like Evan as Dahmer). The soundtrack was full of bangers, and Kajagoogoo/Limahl being involved in the plot at all was too iconic not to appreciate. That two-toned mullet is scarier than anything else.

Still, I felt like it was lacking something, and it became a little tiring. Also, I think Ryan Murphy is a touch obsessed with the 'ghosts trapped in the place they died' concept, because here we have it again, after Murder House and Hotel already did the same thing. You die at summer camp, that's where you stay in the afterlife.

It's not a bad season by any means, but it's not as good as the ones above it here.

7. Apocalypse

Some people really hate Apocalypse too. I didn't.

I'm crediting this partially to the swoon-worthy Michael Langdon (are you noticing a pattern?), but also to Evan getting to throw himself into comedic roles as Mr. Gallant and Jeff Pfister (and clearly having a good time), Wilhemina Venable and that iconic Daphne-esque ensemble, the crossover with past seasons like Coven and Hotel, and the return of Jessica Lange; brief but iconic.

I can understand the critiques that people have against Apocalypse, but I had a good time with it. It is, however, mainly just fanservice by the end, and I can only imagine how lost and frustrated someone who hadn't watched all the prior, required seasons, would feel.

Which isn't exactly good for a show where each season is usually standalone.

6. Cult

I imagine this ruffling some feathers, and admittedly, on a rewatch I had some mixed feelings about ranking it here. However, there is one core reason why Cult is still one of my more favored AHS seasons.

I'm not a political person, nor am I about to get into that. This is evidently a very politically charged season, what with it being about Trump's election, but the real terror comes from something a whole lot more sinister than any president.

Evan Peters as Kai Anderson is him at his finest in AHS, I'd say. No other character has frightened me as much as Kai, and it's pretty much because there's nothing scarier than a guy so terrible, yet so tangible. There are people like Kai out there, and cult mentality isn't as uncommon as you'd think.

5. Coven

I know. I'm sorry too.

Putting Coven at number 5 on this list does feel like burning a Chanel bag but I guess I just have to be honest that I don't like it as much as some of the other seasons.

Which is not to say Coven is bad. If anything, it's the first season on this list which I can say is overall very strong. It did a lot to put AHS on the map and is a lot of people's favorite, which I can understand. There's also plenty I enjoy about it; the fact that it's all about witches, Misty Day, Madison Montgomery, Marie Laveau and the forever iconic Myrtle Snow (BALENCIAGAAAA), Stevie Nicks actually being a part of the plot, I could go on.

It's not that there's anything specifically wrong with Coven. It does drag a little at times but to be honest, no season of AHS is immune to that.

4. Murder House

Where it all began...

Even though AHS is evidently finding its footing in this first season, for a debut it's already incredibly strong and memorable. The shocking style and themes shook TV and did a lot to revolutionise horror programming. Straight off the bat, Ryan Murphy doesn't pull any punches with what he's willing to show, or where he's willing to go.

Tate Langdon, whatever you may think of him, is an iconic character, and this season has so many emotional, memorable moments. As a gateway to AHS, it's always a joy to show to people (well, maybe 'joy' isn't the right word, but still...).

3. Hotel

Keeping it so real, I LOVE Hotel.

I even had to debate putting it at the No.2 spot. Hell I could do that for Liz Taylor alone, but this season has lots going for it besides the absolute icon that she is.

The concept of this place (quite clearly based on the real Cecil Hotel) becoming a cage (or sometimes, haven) for the people who die there, intermingled with vampires, serial killers, a detective gradually going insane...you can say what you like about this season but it's definitely interesting.

And Gaga, wow. If there was never better casting for that sort of a role.

2. Asylum

If personal preference weren't in play, then I would definitely rank Asylum as the finest hour of AHS. In terms of sheer quality, it's undoubtedly the peak of the show.

Heavily praised for good reason, it's a season that showcases the best performances of the show, and is set in the perfectly horrific locale of 1960s Briarcliff. More than that, it's an apt commentary on the mental health care system in general, and how often the greatest monsters aren't ghouls or ghosts, but human beings.

The only qualm I have with it is the alien plot-line. I don't even necessarily object to the idea of it, throw in some aliens, why not? However, I think the execution was just a little on the clunky side.

1. Freak Show

Asylum may be the objective winner (understandably so), but Freak Show is my absolute favorite season of American Horror Story thus far. For numerous reasons, let's get into them!

The 1950s setting allows for some really spectacular production design and costuming, and it just gives the whole thing such an eerie feeling. Dandy Mott may indeed look like a "dreamboat" but he's sincerely terrifying and such a compelling character to watch, Finn Wittrock knocked it out of the park.

In fact, all of the actors do. Evan is stellar as "Lobster Boy" Jimmy, Sarah as the conjoined twins, Naomi Grossman as Pepper (my heart is breaking just thinking about her and Ma Petite), but most of all, its Jessica Lange's turn as Elsa Mars that's truly the soul of this season.

Which is really the core of why I love it. For all the genuinely disturbing moments (and trust, I mean genuinely) Freak Show has to offer, it's strangely heartfelt and poignant by its end.

In conclusion...

AHS is far from perfect, no season is, but all-in-all it's a show I love. Despite the latest season being by far the weakest, I'm still looking forward to what we'll see next.