What a curiosity.
For a long time, Eren tried to ignore it.
He was supposed to be the hero, the 'main character' in this dark story that was playing out with more and more tragic twists and turns. He was supposed to be the savior of humanity.
Why was he thinking like this?
It was all so twisted. You were just a regular human being, albeit one who was skilled enough to fight Titans, but just the sight of you often made him nauseous with nerves. It wasn't you, it was him. It was the part of him that couldn't get past the fact that you were just too damn perfect.
How dare you be? How dare you hold such an angelic presence in his life? You were a distraction from his duties, and his performance was suffering for it, along with his psyche. The more he met you, even just in passing through the corridors, the more nuts he became. It reached the point where his internal mind was just a simple photograph, a photo of you.
Smiling. Looking pretty. Looking like something he wanted so badly, and yet he couldn't have.
Because you were dating that damn prick, that horse-faced bastard Jean Kirschtein. Fuck if Eren actually understood your reasoning there. How could you look into that ugly mug and kiss it every morning? How could you run your hands through that ratty hair of his, and ignore his perpetually smarmy attitude?
How could you do any of that, when Eren was standing right there, ready for you, free for you?
I'm going to snap.
How could you ignore all of his well-meant advances for so long, and yet fall for that asshole in an instant?
I'm going to lose my mind.
How could you go about your duties with such a diligent smile, when you were causing so much pain to a person?
I can't take this anymore!
Eren shot up from his bed in a cold sweat, laden thick with it. His nails dug deeply into the sheets around him, which slipped down to expose his bare and quickly breathing chest. His heart was pounding, his eyes sallow. He needed sleep and yet he couldn't get a wink of it. It was already drawing close to sunrise, and he'd be lucky if he didn't get eaten on the field when he was in this sorry state.
Again, he could only blame you for it. He could only blame you for everything.
“Yeah that's right...haha...it's all your fault [Y/N]...” he suddenly started twitching, eyes wide and staring down at the bed, his mouth splitting apart into a widely torn grin. “All...all your fault...”
So what solution was there then? How could he finally escape this ongoing emotional torture that you were unknowingly inflicting upon him?
He'd kill you.
“Long day, huh? Man, my back is aching...”
You grunted and hauled the last of your supplies onto the back of your horse, before hoisting yourself up there too. Eren was already saddled and ready to ride, but you were glad that he had invited you out here into the forest for some extra target training.
“Pity, I wish Jean had been here too. Hope his leg's doing better.” you pondered aloud while you started riding. Eren only coughed strangely and smiled.
For a while, you rode together like that. You, oblivious of course. Eren, silently plotting. He gripped the reins in his hands, knuckles burning white as he grinned down at them. You couldn't see such a sinister smile past his disheveled and dark hair, so you really didn't have any clue how far gone he was.
But that was okay, you never noticed it anyway. Just happily flitted around in your life like a cheerful little bird, gossiping about boys with your best friends, kissing Jean every chance you got. Leaving Eren in the shadows like always.
Well no more. You'd become nothing but a shadow yourself when he was done with you, and Eren couldn't think of any better way to annihilate you once and for all, than to transform into a Titan and eat you. After all, it would be like consuming your soul and making you a part of him eternally. Who needed to go to Heaven when you could be with him instead?
Perfect. Perfect, perfect. After so much chaos and angst, the sea was finally settling from the turmoil. It felt as if everything he had suffered through had just been leading up to this moment. Maybe it was really all just meant to be.
“[Y/N]! Hold up a second--” Eren suddenly tugged the reins and his horse whinnied. He dropped down from the back of it, you dismounting more slowly as you called out to him:
“What's the matter!? We need to hurry back or else Heichou will skewer us!”
He didn't seem to be listening. Curiously, he had jogged to a spot in the overgrown grass by the roadside, and he was crouching over it. Wondering what on earth he could be looking at, you walked up behind him and leaned over his back.
“What's up? Did you see something?”
“Yeah. Yeah I'm pretty sure I saw something that was like...glinting or glittering, or something...” Eren peered closer, before suddenly pulling back and standing again. He looked to you hopefully, “Might be valuable, wanna see if you can find it?”
“I...I dunno Eren...” you glanced back at your waiting horse sheepishly, already feeling guilty when you turned to the green-eyed boy again, “Tough call. We probably shouldn't be rummaging around in the dirt when we're supposed to be back at our dorms in ten minutes...”
However, you ended up going down on your knees and searching a bit anyway. It could be something valuable, or even just something one of your friends had accidentally dropped when training here as well. Either way, in the end, Eren finally got what he wanted. You were distracted, and as he loomed over you as you examined the grass and the pebbles among it, that dark smile grew.
Already you looked small, down by his feet like that. But you were about to look a lot smaller. Eren started walking backwards, taking some room for himself, before then raising his hand up to his maw and opening it wide. With one swift bite, he pierced the skin.
“AHH!!” you let out a cry of alarm as there was a massive clap like thunder, and the whole forest lit up in gold. Your body was sent flying a small ways, but landed with a thud only a little down the road. Groaning, you pushed yourself up against the quivering ground, and slowly raised your head to look.
Up...at the Titan which now towered right over you.
It was hard for a Titan to smile, but Eren might as well have been. On the inside he was at least. You tried to scamper away and run, funnily enough in the opposite direction of your horse since you were so frankly panicked, but what was a great distance for you was only a small reach for him. He caught you easily in his hand.
“E-EREN! Eren don't do this!! Why are you doing this!? L-let me GO!!”
Cry upon cry, but he pretended like he didn't hear them, as he only reduced you to dangling by your leg and lifted you higher before himself. His jaw cracked open and you screamed among the steam but he didn't pay that any heed either.
What point was there in caring about you, when you had shown no care for him?
Yet, as Eren lifted you closer and prepared to finish you off, he noticed how you were pleading. Your hands were clasped together and thrusting out to him even in that upside-down position. Your face was absolutely streaming tears, to the point where he felt like he could practically taste the salt.
“P-please Eren, I'm begging you! Wh-whatever I've done, I'm so so sorry! Just d-don't kill me!”
You were so...naive. You just didn't know, did you? You had no idea what you'd done to him. You seemed unaware of how the smallest of your actions had such big effects on him.
You were pure. You were innocent.
You probably didn't deserve a death like this. Or even a death at all.
Eren continued to dangle you before himself. His tactics had changed though. Yes...there wasn't any need to kill you in order to claim you. Why do that, when he could have it both ways?
He'd keep you alive...and keep you right by his side, permanently...
That sounded like a better plan.
The Sword of Damocles perpetually loomed overhead.
Eren knew what he was capable of, and now you knew as well.
Every night you stirred restlessly, haunted by the vivid memory of what he had nearly done to you. Every day was a nightmare too, punctured by moments where he would kiss you forcefully, or dig his nails into your knee if he happened to see you so much as glance at another male in the mess hall.
Long gone were the days when you had the freedom to do what you wanted. Any wrong moves and Eren would simply stop dead in his tracks beside you.
And you'd watch, starting to beg and plead desperately, insisting you didn't mean it, as he'd raise his hand closer and closer to his teeth...
-Only for him to stop, at the very last second, and smile. A smug little grin.
He'd suffered plenty.
Now it was your turn.