PARTS I - II
Cold. Glaring. Piercing.
Those lowered eyes watched your figure through a dark fringe, both enthralled and cautious of your presence. The figure that sat bound in the chair, tight cream leather strapped around a stark white outfit, had a look that would freeze any to the spot. Admittedly, you were frozen, but not completely in fear.
Levi Rivaille, admitted 2 and a half years ago to the local mental institute. You had known him during your first few years of university. It was tough when you first arrived, having just graduated school and being thrust into that friendless environment. Your friends had been left behind you, you were pushed into a world you had never known. He was the one person who stood there.
Ever waiting. Ever watching.
He had good grades but was pretty unsociable. He was the guy who would sit away from everyone else in the library and canteen. He liked his peace. He liked not to be disturbed...
You edged towards his seat as more memories flooded forth. When he had first looked at you, it had been similarly cold and callous. It wasn't that you disgusted him, but anyone would make that assumption when they saw that expression of his. It made him hard to approach, but one day you swallowed your nerves like a bitter pill and decided to do just that. He was sat at the back, like always. The back of the library in the reference section, with nary a smile or even a scrap of emotion on his face. He would brush obsessively at any speck of dust that came within his line of sight, but his movement was fairly stiff apart from that.
Just say hi...
That thought ran around your mind like a car on a racetrack, and every time it lapped you took a hesitant step backwards.
What if he hates me?
What if he scorns me?
What if he asks me to leave him alone?
Yet you still went. You still went and plonked yourself down and opened your big mouth and rabbited on about your own life, and other things he surely didn't care about.
He sat there.
He slowly became...intrigued...
No other girls would come over and talk to him like this. Levi knew why. They were scared, and so they should be. Yet for some strange reason, you were not deterred.
The first thing he noticed was the smell on you. Freshly washed clothes, like a breath of fresh air in the clammy library. You kept yourself tidy, you sat with good posture, and most of all, you had a nice manner. He found himself admiring the way your delicate features would rise and fall like gentle waves as you spoke, paying no heed to the words. It was a first...he had never reacted this way to anyone at all before.
What was it about you?
He saw that same beauty in you, as you crept towards him like a timid rabbit.
I won't bite.
Tiny, almost unnoticeable, a smirk pulled at the corners of his mouth. Had that confidence washed away in the face of his true nature? Well not completely. There had been a murder or two that had kept you distant for some time, but you had returned, and that proved something to him.
You were loyal.
Even when you had blood on your hands...you were loyal.
He loved it when you called him that.
"I came by to see you...see how you were doing..."
He watched you kneel in-front of him, your legs deliberately parted a little. His smirk grew wider.
"How do you feel?"
You reached up with a mildly shaking hand, but the guard snapped before you could caress behind the boy's ear.
"Don't touch the patient."
You frowned. This guy was different than the other guy. The other guy let you touch Levi. He knew what you two had. He knew how important it was for Levi to get this time with you.
Boxed up. Alone in a cold, sterile room. It would drive anyone insane, let alone if they were already. You pitied him, yet at the same time admired him. He always kept his cool, at least when you were there.
You couldn't touch, but you could look. See the things that had changed; the dryer lips, the heavier eyes, the paler skin. He wasn't benefitting from this, but there was nothing you could do. Except remember. Remember, before all the shit had hit the fan, how precious the time you spent together was. Kissing around tight corners on campus. Conversing over study books. Levi had let you into his own world, a world that nobody else could see.
However, that world was tainted.
One day he just snapped. He lost it. Boom.
Blood was on his hands, and on the floor, and on the walls, and on the gun.
A lecturer, lay dead at his feet, and soon enough, so would five students.
Well, you could ask that question forever, and you would never find an answer.
He was just...disturbed.
Time moves on, and so too did you have to. There was no time left to visit Levi every day, maybe stroke him sometimes as he sat there like a seething vegetable. You had a degree under your belt. Your graduation celebrations were a quiet affair. A few friends from work, nothing more.
You moved onto better things, got a decent job with your degree, promoted in the first year.
You didn't visit Levi anymore.
People started to drift towards you, and soon you had a solid group of friends who almost made those distant days seem like a dream. Maybe it was the job, or the newfound charisma, but for some reason you just kept finding new people to be a part of your life, practically turning up on your doorstep.
One was a man. The only one who you had loved so much since Levi himself.
You were starting to forget Levi. When you lay in bed with a strong arm wrapped around your waist, you didn't think about the black haired psychopath, you though about your own life, if you wanted kids, if you wanted a promotion, if you wanted to finally write that novel...
Levi never forgot.
Sometimes the guards did though. They grew lazy in his presence. He was so quiet, he barely moved. Didn't kick up a fuss when they transferred him to his bed. Surely it would be alright to leave a couple straps off. What was he going to do after all?
Rip them to shreds?
Butcher them like that goddamned classroom?
It was an admirable determination he had. He wiped his bloodied hands down on his dirty white trousers, ignoring the stains as if they were simply water. He took a gun from a holster, and a taxi down to your place. He knew where you were, he made sure of that. Not a single detail or murmur slipped past his ears these days. Those guards really were lazy. That taxi driver really was terrified, but he drove there anyway, because the sick feel of metal on his earlobe was reason enough.
You switched the TV off and set the plastic remote down on the coffee table. A blush tinged your cheeks as you rubbed your scantily clad arm and thought of the night you had just had. If this wasn't the perfect life, then what was? You were the happiest you had ever been.
Things change, though.
They changed when you heard the doorbell.
They changed when you cursed not having a peephole.
They changed when you opened the door with the lock holding it ajar.
They changed when the chain was blown off in your face.
They changed when you stumbled backwards onto the floor, and clutched your nose, and looked up and saw him.
When he tilted his head, it looked like it would roll right the way off his neck. His movements were as loose as any crazy person. Those eyes were too, bloodshot with pinprick pupils. It had been a long time since he'd killed...
"L-Levi-" you stammered, pulling yourself up against the coffee table, with one hand to your face.
He grinned in such an uncharacteristic manner that it sent a jolting shiver up your spine.
He was playing with you.
You took off in the direction of the bedroom, as his closed eyes saw nothing, but heard your pounding footsteps skate across your carpet and step up into your wardrobe. Cute. You thought that was good enough.
"4...5. Ready or not." He clicked his gun with two hands.
"Here I come."
You could hear nothing except the faint but panicked pants of your own breathing in the dark. You held your knees to your chest in that confined space, shutting your eyes tight as if to keep the world from bleeding through to you. He was going to find you. The real question though, was…
What would he do to you?
You thought of the man who stalked your hallways, and how even just having friends in university had been enough to tip him over the edge. He must have always been teetering dangerously close, there was no way someone could develop such a deadly infatuation with a single person, without having some sort of damage in the works.
A wave of fresh panic washed over your harshly beating heart. What if he took it out on him as well? The love of your life, who was no doubt driving home right now, unaware of the imminent danger both you, and possibly him too, were in. If Levi had so easily found you, then surely it would only be a matter of time…
What were you supposed to do though? Be the hero of the day? Against him? A psychopath with a gun and no qualms, no morals? You knew there was a shotgun in the dresser, but you didn’t have the bravery to take it.
“Here kitty kitty…” you heard a lilting voice call from outside the bedroom door, closely followed by a horrifyingly twisted laugh, like nothing you’d ever heard from a human before. Let alone a boy like that, who had seemed so quiet, unfazed, relaxed. Well, at least when you first met him. Now it made perfect sense; a psychopath would only laugh like a psychopath, right?
“AHAHAHA, AHAHA-!...” the sound almost like shrieking eventually trailed off to a light mumble. Even through the solid wood of the closet you could hear his soles squeaking on the polished wooden floors, like he was grinding away at the grain. The next sound you heard sent a sharp jolt of fright straight through your nerves, as the unmistakable sound of a chamber being reloaded resounded just metres away. Was he loading more bullets? Did he intend to make Swiss cheese out of you?
Well, you weren’t about to wait around to find out.
Swallowing every hesitant gut feeling you had, you opened the wardrobe door as quietly as you possibly could, and creeped out. He didn’t appear to be making any moves yet, as you sidled towards the dresser, muffling your breathing, your footsteps, anything that could possibly alert him to your presence, with sheer willpower.
Your heart stopped beating. His voice was calm, and steady, just as you knew it. No more of that over-the-top tempo, he was talking like the Levi you always knew…
“Come out [Name]. I know you’re in there. You don’t want me to hurt you, do you?”
You bit down hard on your lip, unable to move right now, for fear you might miss something he’d say.
“If you say you’ll give up, then I won’t kill you. How’s that for a deal…” his muffled voice came through the hard wood and entered your ears, almost tempting you, but you held back. His offer was a solid one, of course you wanted to avoid death! Yet…what happened when you gave up?
Your frazzled mind ran through all the possible situations that came to it. Being chained in a basement, locked up where the sun couldn’t shine, and he was the only person you’d ever see. Forced to become his forever, leave your husband, admit a false love for him.
Or was it really false?
Before all these new things had happened in your life, you had stuck by Levi’s side. Essentially, you had been his. Even after everything that had happened, all the horrible things he had done, you had still accepted him.
Yet you betrayed him, and somehow he’d found out about it.
Now he was here to enact his vengeance, take your life from you as you had taken his happiness from him.
Part of you wanted to go up to that door, swing it open, and jump into his arms. Tell him everything would be all right, that you would love him again as you once did, and in your heart always had. He was probably scared, alone. He’d killed people to get to you. To make him turn away now, would surely be the last straw for him.
As you toyed with the idea of actually doing this, hovering between two possible outcomes, you heard a noise.
“[Name]! You in here!?”
It was your husband’s voice.
This was bad! Really bad! You had to act quick! No time to think! No time to choose!
Not caring about how much noise you made now, you raced to your dresser and yanked the drawer out, grabbing the gun from under piles of underwear with trembling hands, and trying to make it to Levi, before he made it to your lover. You could hear his footsteps rushing away, while yours tried to beat them.
You flung the door open, slamming it against the hallway wall with such force that it cracked, and a deep gorge formed in part of the wood. Your bare feet slipped and slid on the polished wood as you bounded through the dimly lit space, hearing voices coming from round the corner and ahead.
Through a door, hung ajar, Levi held your man at gunpoint.
Your shrill scream echoed through the wide living/kitchen area as you came to a halt. The small, unimpressive shotgun, was clasped as tightly as it could be amid two sweaty palms. The sound of your heartbeat was deafening in your ears, and you could barely hear Levi, barely see Levi through misty eyes.
It was okay though. He was staring at you, still aiming at your husband who was pinned helplessly to the wall by the sheer fear of gunfire. Yet he was saying nothing. He hadn’t said anything for a little while now. He didn’t need to when it came to erasing this stain from your life. He didn’t deserve his words. Yet it was a different sort of silence when you rushed in. He noticed the gun in your hands, the shaky yet determined look on your face, the stance you held that seemed to hover between intent to either give up or shoot.
Levi had been stunned into silence by your surprise resolve.
That silence didn’t last long though. Every precious commodity had to run out sometime, right? Not his slyness though. It already began to show on his lips as they curved into a smirk, and his silver eyes narrowed behind dishevelled black hair.
“Found you. Or should I say, you found me?”
“Let him go, Levi.” You said in the steadiest voice you could muster. Inside your head, that crazed laugh of his still sounded. Never, you had never anticipated that side of him, and you feared it would emerge. It would emerge, and make him fire that gun, just as it had done in university, just as it had probably done several times on its journey over here from the insane asylum.
Your love was beautifully terrified. His eyes caught yours and his face crumpled into one of pleading. Levi must have told him to keep quiet, because he said nothing, but it looked like he was straining to. It hurt your heart like nothing else, and you pursed your lips as tears spilled out over your eyelids. Who could blame you? You were potentially going to have to watch him…die.
“Don’t kill him Levi…” you begged, lowering your gun ever so slightly like a little show that you wanted a truce. “Please…please don’t kill him…”
Levi cocked his head like he had when he was at your front door, and your breathing became faster, as you feared he might hit some kind of insanity mode again.
He seemed calm enough though, for now. In many ways, his relaxed, slightly curious reaction to your threats and begging was more frightening than him just going apeshit.
His mouth began to twitch at the sides though, pulling at his skin like he was trying not to smile. You caught glimpses of white teeth as he watched you, and suddenly his head rolled forward, dropping to stare at the floor. Black locks served as a makeshift curtain, shielding his twitching expression.
“Do you know something, [Name]?”
Nothing. You said nothing.
“…Every time…that you came to visit me in that…shithole…I felt like…” a dry chuckle came from his slowly heaving chest, “-I felt like I might finally be happy…”
Then his head raised again, and you saw his eyes had completely changed. You could barely see any of that beautiful silver anymore, only two barely discernible pupils, which had grown so thin it made him look dead. Petrified, you aimed more deliberately, using what few skills you had to try and focus on his forehead.
“Then you went and fucked it all up…” he tilted his head back a bit, so it was at a strangely lopsided angle, unfazed by your threatening stance. “You fucked it all up…everything…so selfish…”
“I had to move on!” you blurted out, desperately just wanting him to leave you both alone at this point. “I had to, don’t you understand!?”
“NO I DON’T FUCKING UNDERSTAND!!!”
So shaken, you dropped the gun from your hands.
The clatter, the sound of bullets rattling in the chamber, felt distant.
The gunshot didn’t.
It was loud and clear. It rang in your brain like an alarm bell, and your world slowed, as your eyes slowly travelled to watch the wall.
Deep red, spreading out through the starch white shirt of your beloved, turning it a fleshy pink as he slid down the white canvas. A dark, thin smear trailed behind him, the last symbol he would ever leave. No words, just a bloody mark to show he’d once been there. Once been there, alive.
Your own scream could have shattered the heavens. You didn’t move any limbs except your hands, which reached up and tore at your hair, pulling ravenously at the follicles, again, and again, and again. You screamed and screamed and screamed. Again, and again, and again.
“Look at you, making such a ruckus.”
“I solved the problem, didn’t I…”
“Aren’t you happy, [Name]?”
His practically alien laugh drowned out your screams, and silenced you to chokes. Or maybe it was the tight hand around your throat that did…
“Stop fucking crying.” His voice hissed, his warm breath tickling your face, as your glazed eyes struggled to focus on him. From what you could see, he had an ever-changing expression. Torn between his insanity, and his calm. Just as you had been torn between yours.
You had no choice now. You had given up as soon as you’d left him in that asylum all on his own. Pursued your own desires, without a second thought.
You thought it would help him.
You were no good for him.
No…that was also a lie.
You were sick of going there all the time, only to get nothing from him.
Not even a simple word. Just a stare.
In a way, you almost liked that lively stare that was slowly emerging on his face again right now, a frightening reaction to your silence.
“Not going to talk!? Of course you’re not!”
He grinned, removed his hand from your fragile neck, and grabbed you by the sides, throwing you over the back of the sofa. You landed half on the cushions, before your body thumped down onto the floor, the corner of the coffee table nicking your head. Warm blood trickled down over your nose. You were bleeding like him now.
“Everybody always makes assumptions, don’t they? This is a side I never showed you, not even you.” You heard him walk round the plush piece of furniture and grab you, lifting you up onto the sofa properly and clambering over you. “Maybe because everyone I ever showed it to, ended up like your little boyfriend over there.”
Groggily, you lifted your hand, showing off the ring on your finger. He grabbed your hand and examined it.
“Oh, you’re married. Great. You must be so happy.”
Still dazed, a tiny smile grew on your lips, like you were reminiscing, or maybe just being provocative, as you nodded.
“Fantastic. I’m so proud of you. Making a life for yourself.” He said without a single ounce of expression on his face, or emotion in his voice, as he looked down at you, encasing you in his domineering shadow. “You never invited me to the wedding…I’m offended. Wouldn’t I have made a good best man for you and your beloved?”
Partially, your lips opened, and you managed to spit out a few weakened words.
“Ah, there it is.” He stared wider, not smiling or anything, but clearly livened up by your insult. “You have an exciting side too…”
“Not…exciting…” you groaned and glared up at him with steely [E/C] eyes. “Disturbed…”
“Oh, I suppose you’re referring to me.” He lowered his voice, his eyes narrowing again.
Your already shallow breathing hitched when he leaned down so close, that you could have kissed him if you moved a centimetre up. His voice came out in a long, low drawl, laced with a venomous tone that made every hair on your body stand on end.
“I can be as ‘disturbed’ as you want me to be, [Name].”